Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How do you perform a lap dance for your boyfriend or husband?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Study Warns: Carbon Dioxide Removal Methods Could Trigger Ocean Oxygen Crisis - Indian Defence Review

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Study Links Gut Bacteria to MS Risk and Reveals Key Triggers - Neuroscience News

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Do you consider yourself pretty?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is the best sunscreen available for summers? My skin is oily.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Trump is forcing this dirty, costly coal plant to stay open - The Washington Post

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What would happen if the Earth stopped spinning for one minute?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand how hurricane paths work

What is music publishing?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Pablo Lopez To Miss Multiple Months With Teres Major Strain - MLB Trade Rumors

I don’t cotton to rapists

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Is Billie Piper Playing the Doctor or Rose? 5 Theories About ‘Doctor Who’ Twist - TV Insider

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Warning Issued To Minnesotans About Running Fans Overnight - Duluth Country Radio

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Sean Combs Complains to Court Sketch Artist - Newser

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags